Sweet Memories
by RavenclawMerlinFan
Summary: Two teenaged children meet in a forest on the edge of Cenred's kingdom. Two children, who will, one day, become mortal enemies. Or will they? Mergana!
1. Sweet Memories

**Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at a proper, multi-chapter fic! Please R&R and tell me what you think! **

**Disclaimer: I totally own Merlin! (In my dreams...) **

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"You pig! You, arrogant, arrogant, _pig_!"

The small, slender thirteen-year-old stormed through the forest, her curly, raven hair flowing out behind her, and her emerald green eyes filled with angry tears.

"_Morgana_! Wait, I didn't mean it!"

She was closely pursued by a slightly younger blonde boy with blue eyes, who soon caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

Angrily Morgana spun around and wrenched her arm from his grip.

"Arthur Pendragon, if you ever insult my father like that ever again you will be sorry!" she spat angrily, before giving him a shove.

Even though the young prince was strong and well-muscled for his age, he was not expecting the sudden push, and so toppled over backwards.

Morgana took her chance and ran through the forest, taking a sharp left or right every so often so Arthur would not be able to track her as easily as if he just had to follow a straight path.

She knew Arthur and the knights that had accompanied them on their short hunting trip (Arthur had insisted he was old enough to go hunting, and Uther had told him to drag Morgana along, telling her that it would be good to get some colour into her pale cheeks) would find her eventually, but she wanted some time along to seethe.

She picked up a stick and used it to whack leaves and twigs aside to make a clear path.

_How dare –_ WHACK! – _that insolent prince _– WHACK! – _insult her father!_

Morgana knew in her heart Arthur hadn't _meant _to insult her, it was only a joke, but Morgana felt so angry she didn't care.

Continuing in this fashion for a while, muttering angrily under her breath, the young girl soon found that she was lost. Well that suited her fine.

She wandered through the woods for a while until she saw a small clearing, with several fallen logs in, perfect for sitting on.

Morgana sat down, smoothing out her long skirts – Why Uther had not let her wear something _practical_ she did not know – and begun to sing softly.

She was idly playing with her hair when there was a thump, followed by an "OOF!" nearby.

Morgana immediately sprung to her feet and drew a dagger from her belt (A gift for her twelfth birthday, given to her by Sir Leon. Uther had disapproved – of course). Never one to run away from danger, she proceeded quietly to the source of the noise.

She stepped round the side of a large oak tree, dagger at the ready, and came face to face with a scowling boy, sprawled on the ground, small logs scattered around his lanky legs.

"Who are you?" asked Morgana, wrinkling her nose.

"I'm Merlin," he said, scrambling to his feet and taking in her well-dressed appearance. It was clear she was not from around here. "Who are _you_?"

"I'm Morgana," she replied. Her green eyes scanned him, taking in everything from his tousled raven black hair, sparkling, sapphire blue eyes and lopsided grin to his simple clothes; a red neckerchief and blue, long-sleeved top, with a pair of dark brown trousers and brown boots.

Merlin looked back at her, seeing her wavy, black hair cascading down her back, her emerald eyes, her pale skin and fine dress. And the ornately carved dagger in her hand.

"Erm… what are you doing here?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the dagger clutched in her hand.

"I, err…" Morgana followed his gaze and realised she was still brandishing her dagger. Quickly she put it back in her belt. "I was on a hunting trip, and got separated from the rest of my group,"

"You hunt with a dagger?" the boy looked at her strangely.

Morgana blushed, her pale cheeks colouring. "Oh, no, it's just, I heard a sound and… well, you know…"

"That sound was me tripping over my own feet while trying to collect firewood," Merlin gave a grin, "Everyone in the village says I'm a hazard to myself,"

Morgana could not explain why, when Merlin had grinned, her heart had begun to hammer, or why when she looked into those blue eyes she found it hard to tear herself away again.

Merlin bent down and began collecting the logs around him. "I have to get back with these," – He gestured to the logs – "My village is just at the edge of the forest. Would you like to come with me, or do you have to get back to your hunting?"

Morgana made a face as she bent down to help him. "I _hate_ hunting, I don't see how you can call it sport when one side has horses and dogs and crossbows, and the other has nothing,"

Merlin gave a short laugh. "I agree. So, why did you go hunting in the first place then?"

Just then, they both reached for the same log and their hands brushed together. Both of them immediately jumped back, causing Morgana to blush again.

Then she remembered Merlin had asked her a question. "_Uther_ made me come," she said, a look of distaste flashing across her features.

"Uther?" the young boy's eyes grew wide. "As in, King Uther of Camelot?"

Morgana nodded. "I'm his ward,"

"What are you doing here then? You're on the edge of Cenred's Kingdom!"

Morgana had not realised she'd gone so far. She would be dead when she got back to Camelot if Arthur told Uther she'd gone into Cenred's land. She'd just have to hope the young prince would keep his royal mouth shut.

"Could- could you stay here a bit, with me? I'd kind of like some company before I go back. The truth is, I ran away from my group. I know they'll find me soon though."

"Oh, alright!" Merlin was surprised that Morgana wanted him, just a poor village boy, to keep her company, but was more than happy to oblige.

They sat on the nearby fallen logs, Merlin dropping the firewood at his feet.

"So, what's it like, life in your village?" Morgana asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"Well, rather dull really, nothing much happens. It's quite small, just a few dozen houses, a field of cows or two… but it's home, I suppose."

Morgana listened as he spoke of Ealdor, where he lived with just his mother. Her heart ached as she thought of her previous life, living with her mother and father.

"I used to live in a village, once," she said quietly.

"Really?" said Merlin, surprised.

The young girl nodded. "Before I lived in Camelot…"

She felt her eyes fill with tears, and turned away, embarrassed.

Merlin cleared his throat awkwardly, unsure of what to do. In the end he put his arm around her, and she unconsciously leaned into him, a single tear rolling down one of her pale cheeks.

"My mother died when I was only six, so it was just me and my father, Gorlois. But then he died whilst fighting a battle for Uther, and so I was sent to Camelot, to live with the man whose fault it was that I became an orphan," she explained bitterly.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Merlin whispered.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"You're lucky Merlin. At least you have your mother,"

"I know. But at least you got to know your father,"

They did not speak for a while, Morgana still nestled into Merlin's shoulder, and his head resting on hers.

Then they heard voices a distance away. It sounded like the Camelot hunting group. Morgana started, banging her head into Merlin's chin.

"Ouch!" they both said in unison, before beginning to laugh.

"I like you Merlin," Morgana whispered, staring into his sparkling, blue eyes.

"I… I like you a lot too," Merlin replied.

And, hearts hammering, they both leant in, and before they knew it they were kissing.

"MORGANA!"

Morgana broke off as she heard the unmistakeable voice of Prince Arthur, not too far away.

"I have to go," she said sadly, just as the young prince stumbled into the clearing.

"Morgana, we've been looking for you–"

He broke off as he realised she was with someone.

"Who are you?" he asked, staring at Merlin.

"I'm Merlin," the young boy stepped forward, holding out his hand to the prince.

He stared at it, before giving Merlin a look of distaste and turning back towards Morgana.

"We have to go," he said, "Sir Leon said that my father will worry if we're gone any longer,"

Ignoring him, Morgana turned to Merlin.

"Goodbye," she said, "I hope we meet again."

"I hope so too, Morgana," he replied.

She gave him a small, sweet smile, before turning away and beginning to head back, Arthur following behind.

_"Until the next time, Morgana…_" Merlin thought, remembering her soft lips against his own, before picking up his firewood and heading back to Ealdor.

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**Sooo... what do you guys think? Please review! **


	2. The Call of Destiny

**Hello guys! Sorry it took me so long to write it, but I am VERY bad at writing emotional stuff so I had to rewrite some bits three times! I am very unhappy with the end result :/**

**Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed and followed, I never thought I'd get this many! **

**This is set at the start of "The Call of the Dragon", All Uther dialogue is copyright to the BBC, and so is the Uther/Morgana dialogue. **

**Disclaimer: I STILL don't own Merlin! :'( **

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**The Call of Destiny**

_No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy, that will in time, father a legend. His name… Merlin. _

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Merlin entered through the tall, iron gates, gazing in wonder at the new world around him. Everywhere there was noise and bustle; children laughing, men trading, women comparing silks. But there was one thought on his mind. Would _she_ be there? The girl that he had met, and kissed, some five years before. Morgana Pendragon.

As he entered the courtyard of the castle, there was a deadly hush. Merlin could not help but feel uneasy as drums began to bang, in a rhythm that spelled out _death_.

He struggled through the crowd to see what was going on, as whispers started to fill the air.

Just then, a young man was brought through the crowd, restrained by two guards.

"Let this serve as a lesson to all,"

Merlin's head snapped round to face the unforgiving looking man standing high above the courtyard, who was, without a doubt, King Uther.

"This man, Thomas James Collins, has been found guilty of conspiring to use enchantments, and magic. Pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned, on penalty of death."

Merlin swallowed uncomfortably. His mother had never told him about Camelot's laws on magic. It looked like this was the worst possible place he could be.

"I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass."

Merlin turned, to see the man being led towards an executioners block. He was beginning to feel dizzy and sick. The executioner raised his axe.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Uther raised his hand. As he swung it downwards, the axe came down too. Merlin looked away with his eyes closed as there was a sickening thud.

* * *

Morgana watched from her window as the execution was carried out. Forcing herself to look away from the block as the axe made contact with the back of the man's neck, her heart stopped as she caught sight of a man in the crowd.

_No, it couldn't be…_

After all this time…

There was no denying it as the young lady stared at him. The same red neckerchief and blue shirt. The same raven black, tousled hair and high cheek bones. _Merlin_.

His eyes were closed, no doubt disgusted by the display. But then, they opened.

_Morgana_. As Merlin's eyes flew open he saw her. Older, and stunningly beautiful, with the same long, dark waves of hair and emerald green eyes, which were looking straight at him.

The execution temporarily forgotten, the two of them looked at each other, sapphire blue meeting emerald green.

"_Morgana_…" he breathed her name, his heart beating fast. He barely registered that Uther had begun to speak again.

"When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos. But with the people's help, magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival, to celebrate twenty years since the great dragon was captured, and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!"

_Celebrations?_ How was chopping a man's head off cause for celebration? What kind of twisted kingdom was this?

He barely had time to dwell on this before there was an agonised cry of sorrow from the crowd. Everyone turned to see who the source of the noise was.

The crowed parted to reveal an old woman, staring up at Uther with what could only be described as hatred on her face.

"There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic, it is _you_! With your hatred, and your ignorance! You killed my son," she said in a harsh voice, pointing with a shaking hand towards the executioners block.

"And I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth… _a son for a son_."

"_Seize her!_" Uther's voice rang out, but before the guards could move the woman whispered an incantation and disappeared in a whirlwind, leaving behind an uneasy silence in the crowd.

Soon the people dispersed, and Uther went back inside his castle. Morgana gazed at Merlin once before closing her window.

She walked over to her bed and sat down, her head in her hands.

What was he doing in _Camelot? _

She closed her eyes as she remembered the kiss, all those years ago.

"My Lady?" a soft voice brought her out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see the concerned face of Gwen, her maidservant, peering at her.

"My Lady, are you alright?"

"Yes Gwen," Morgana replied, giving her a small smile, "I'm just… tired, that is all,"

It was not that she did not trust Gwen, or did not want her to know, but she did not feel ready to tell her about Merlin, at least not until she had spoken to him herself. She wasn't even sure _why_ she cared so much, after all, it was just one kiss, so many years ago.

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That evening found Morgana heading down the winding staircase from her chambers.

She had heard rumours that he was Gaius' new assistant, so he would be in the old physician's chambers. At this time everyone would be at the feast, so Morgana thought it would be the perfect opportunity to talk to him.

Just as she reached the bottom of the staircase she heard heavy footsteps coming along the corridor towards her. One quick look round the corner told her they were Uther's.

Her mind racing with ideas for excuses as to why she was not at the feast, she headed over to the large window overlooking the courtyard, where the executioner's block still stood, a lone guard next to it.

"Morgana."

Breathing heavily, the young lady turned around and replied. "Yes?"

"What is it? Why are you not joining us at the feast?"

Morgana opened her mouth, and to her surprise the excuse tumbled out easily, as it was partly true.

"I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration,"

Uther turned away from her to look out of the window, but she did not miss the exasperated sigh that escaped his lips.

"That poor mother…" she said quietly.

"It was simple justice for what he had done."

"To whom? He practiced magic, he did not hurt anyone!"

"You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like," Uther's voice was cold now.

"How much longer are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?"

"Until they realise there is no room for magic in my kingdom." He and Morgana stared at each other with a glare on their faces.

"You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen," He spoke quietly, but not without dangerous authority.

"I have already told you, I want no part in these celebrations-"

Uther cut her off.

"I am your guardian! I expect you to do as I ask. If you will show me no respect then at least respect our finest singer."

With that he spun on his heel and walked off.

"You know, the more brutal you are the more enemies you will create!" she called after his retreating back.

Uther ignored her.

As soon as he was out of sight, Morgana continued her journey to the physician's chambers.

Too wound up in what she was going to actually say to Merlin, she did not concentrate on where she was going and collided with someone coming round the corner.

"Sorry," she muttered, not look up at his face.

"Morgana?" She suddenly froze. It was _his_ voice. Deeper that it had been five years ago, but there was no mistaking it. She looked up into the face of the man. _Merlin_.

"M-Merlin?" she stuttered, "Is it really you? What are you doingin _Camelot?"_

Before he could even open his mouth, the buzz of chatter coming from the banquet hall suddenly became louder as the doors opened and people began to spill out.

"Come to my chambers, we can talk there," Morgana said in a low voice.

Merlin, stunned into silence, simply followed her, his heart beating fast. He had been heading for Morgana's chambers, not sure what he would say but just desperate to speak to her. He'd known it was mad; it had been five years, and they had only met once, and he was sure she would have moved on or even forgotten, even though he had been unable to.

Soon he was climbing the winding staircase behind Morgana, and was in her chambers.

"What are you doing here in Camelot?" Morgana asked, closing the door behind them.

"My mother sent me here to help Gaius, I didn't really… fit in… any more in Ealdor," he replied.

"Why _here _though? Why come to Camelot?"

"It's… it's insane really… Mother mentioned it as an idea, and I jumped on it, because…"

"Because?" Morgana prompted him.

"Because I wanted to see _you_ again," Merlin mumbled, looking at the floor and shuffling his feet.

After a few minutes of silence, Merlin looked up nervously. He could not read the expression on Morgana's face.

"I know it's stupid, I mean, we only met once and you're King Uther's ward and I'm just a peasant from a tiny village and you probably barely remember me-"

"Merlin, you're rambling," Morgana cut him off, exasperated.

He went back to looking at his feet, his ears red.

"Merlin, of course I remember you," Morgana said softly, "I never forgot that day. I could actually be _myself_ with someone for once, I used to hate living in the castle, always expected to be polite and ladylike, with no-one to talk to except _Arthur, _and he was more interested in his little noble buddies anyway,"

"Oh, err… right," Merlin was not sure what to say to this.

"Well, I'll see you around I suppose, Merlin," Morgana smiled.

_That smile_…

Merlin made his way to the door, and was just about the open it when Morgana called, "By the way, Merlin, it's good to see you again,"

Merlin gave a grin and left.

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**Please R&R! :)**


	3. Meeting the Prat

**Here it is, chapter 3! I am ****_so _****sorry it took so long, my only excuse is real life :P  
It's pretty short and not too good, but I felt so bad making you wonderful people who are following it wait so long XD  
The next chapter definitely will not be up for a long time, but I want to actually make it a long and good chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Merlin... BUT ONLY 1 WEEK 1 DAY UNTIL SERIES 5 STARS! :D**

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Morgana was walking down the corridor towards Gaius' chambers to collect a sleeping draught, and _maybe_ see Merlin, when she heard it.

"Tell me, _Mer_lin, do you know how to walk on your knees?" She rolled her eyes as she heard the arrogant voice of Arthur. And it looked like Merlin was his new victim to bully.

Opening a nearby window, she looked down to the training ground below. A small crowd of villagers were hovering nearby where Arthur and Merlin seemed to be talking.

"No," she heard Merlin reply to Arthur's question.

"Would you like me to help you?" Morgana rolled her eyes again. By the Gods, Arthur was arrogant.

"I wouldn't do that If I were you," Merlin's slightly amused voice travelled up to the window.

"Why, what are you going to do to me?" Morgana had the impression Arthur was enjoying this.

"You have no idea." Morgana winced; somehow she thought that Merlin would regret those words. Arthur had been trained to kill since birth, and Merlin? Well, he didn't exactly look like he had much fighting experience from his long, lanky structure.

She watched as Arthur took some steps back and speak out his arms. "Be my guest!"

Merlin hesitated. "_Please don't do anything stupid," _Morgana prayed.

"Come on!" Arthur jeered.

And Merlin swung his arm at the prince. He had barely got near Arthur before the prince grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. Morgana winced again, and heard the "_Ooh_," from the small crowd of people watching the display below.

Morgana could not hear Arthur's next words as he forced Merlin to his knees, but what she did know was that the latter was in a lot of trouble.

Closing the window, she continued her journey to Gaius, hoping that whatever Arthur was going to do to Merlin wasn't too bad.

Just as she crossed the courtyard, she ran into the prince himself.

"Ahh, Morgana! I've just been teaching a peasant his place. Can you believe, he called me an ass! Of course, he ended up straight in the dungeons for his trouble," Arthur grinned.

Morgana regarded him with a cold stare. "Someday, Arthur Pendragon, you will actually realise how arrogant and pig-headed you really are,"

With that, she stalked off, leaving a dumb-founded Arthur gaping behind her.

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_Merlin… Merlin…_

Merlin woke with a start, to see someone crouching at the bars to his cell. As everything came into focus, Merlin found himself staring into the face of Morgana.

"_Morgana! _What are you doing here?" Merlin struggled to sit up. The only light was coming from a torch on the wall, so Merlin assumed it was evening.

"Coming to say hello to you of course!" she grinned, "I see you've met the crown prince of Camelot."

Merlin groaned. "Don't remind me; I can't believe I did that!"

Morgana laughed. "He needs someone to stand up to him once in a while, otherwise his head will end up so big the crown won't fit on it!"

"Well I'm not surprised no-one talks back to him if this is what they get for it," Merlin replied, stifling a grin of his own.

"I have to leave you now, I am expected to meet Lady Helen with Uther," she made a face. "I'll try and see if I can convince Arthur to release you but I can't make any promises," she said as she stood up to leave.

"Thank you Morgana," Merlin grinned at her.

She returned his smile and walked away.

Merlin watched her go before letting his grin slip. He wasn't sure what he'd expected when he saw Morgana, but he'd let a small flicker of hope burn inside him that maybe she might think of him as more than just a friend.

_Don't be stupid, _he thought to himself angrily, _She's the King's ward and you're just a peasant_.

With that, he lay down on the straw in his cell and turned his back to the world.

* * *

Morgana picked her way through the heavily crowded lower town, following the sounds of laughter and squelching fruit.

She smiled fondly as she caught sight of Merlin in the stocks while laughing children pelted him with fruit. As she moved closer she saw that he was talking to Gwen. She felt something strange in her heart. Was it… jealousy?

"Merlin has the right to talk to whoever he likes, why should you care?" she told herself fiercely.

The truth was, Morgana found herself falling for him again, like she had those five years ago. The way his sapphire eyes sparkled when he laughed, his high cheekbones and his lopsided grin.

Even if he did feel the same way about her – which she highly doubted – it could never work. She was a Lady, he was just the physician's assistant. Uther would never allow it. Not that she cared what that tyrant of a king thought of course, but she would be worried for Merlin's safety if he or Arthur ever found out.

Shaking herself out of her musings, she reached the stocks just as Gwen was walking away.

Stepping up behind him, she said in an amused voice, "Hello Merlin, enjoying your time in the stocks?"

"Morgana!" Merlin lifted up his head as he heard the noise and banged it on the wooden panel above him. The tips of his ears abruptly turned red as Morgana laughed.

"Just came by to see how you were faring in the stocks," she said, smiling.

"Very well thank you. I think my fans are waiting," he quipped, pointedly looking over to the children who were standing, fruit in their hands, waiting to be able to pelt him again.

"I am expected to meet with Uther regarding the feast tonight, so I must be going anyway," Morgana took one last look at him before walking off.

Merlin turned his head as far as the stocks would let him so he could watch her go, staring wistfully at her. He loved her, and he could not deny it. Her beautiful, emerald green eyes and raven black hair, her defiant personality, the way she made his heart beat that little bit faster… But it could never be. Even without the huge class difference, there was his secret. His magic. He could never truly be honest with her. For all she said about how she disagreed with Uther's laws, he did not think she would stretch as far to keep his magic a secret.

As she turned round a corner to go back up to the castle, he turned back just as a rotten tomato hit him squarely in the face. _Only a few more hours to go, _Merlin sighed to himself as he shook a stray cabbage leaf from his head.

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**There it is! :D  
Next chapter will not be up for a while. XP**

**Please R&R! :)**


	4. The Druid Boy

**Oh my... I am SO sorry that I have not updated in so long guys! My life has just been so busy! I just wrote this short drabble thing quickly to give you something, I'm working on the next long chapter now, there many be another drabble before it though!**

**Anyway... HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD THE NEWS? MERLIN IS ENDING! Yep, it's true, Series 5 is to be the last series. There will be 3 follow-up films, but... HOW WILL I SURVIVE? Merlin is, quite literally, my life...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Merlin :(**

**This chapter is set in Series 1 Episode 8, the Beginning of the End (Or whatever it's called, it's the one where our favourtie evil little munchkin appears for the first time! :D)**

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"You know, for a moment there, earlier, I thought you were going to hand us over to the guards," Merlin joked with a cheesy grin as he and Morgana stood over the sleeping young druid boy.

"I am glad you have so much faith in me, Merlin." Morgana replied coldly. Merlin mentally kicked himself. No, he hadn't meant for it to come out like that!

"No no, sorry, I meant, you're the king's ward. You're taking a huge risk helping the boy."

Morgana's expression softened. _I would do anything to help you, Merlin_, she thought. "I would not see an innocent boy executed," she said out loud. She looked down to where he slept peacefully. "What harm has he ever done to anyone?"

"Well, Uther believes he has magic and that makes him guilty." Merlin tried to keep the note of disgust out of his voice.

"Uther's wrong." Merlin snapped his head up to meet Morgana's stony gaze. _Did she mean that?_

"You… you believe that?" He tried to keep the hope out of his voice.

"What if… magic isn't something you _choose._ What if _it_ chooses you?" Morgana's uncertain gaze met Merlin's again.

Merlin's magic was doing fireworks inside him. Maybe she could understand? Maybe he could tell her his secret?

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Merlin started as he realised he had been staring at Morgana with an unnerving intensity, and looked down.

"Nothing," he said, trying to keep the smile off his face.

"Why are _you_ helping him?" Morgana asked, to distract him. If he kept staring at her she was not sure she'd be able to stop herself leaning over and kissing him…

Merlin exhaled, and thought about his answer. "It was a… spur of the moment descision."

Why was she looking at him like that? He had to stop it before he tried to kiss her there and then, and embarrassed both of them.

"What do you think we should do with him? He can't stay here…"

"We have to find a way to get him back to his people," Morgana replied. Merlin nodded.

"I will go and get some clean bandages for his wound," he said, making an excuse to leave. As soon as he was out of her chambers, he leant against the wall, exhaling. Why couldn't he keep his emotions under control? He had been in Camelot for over a month now and it was clear nothing could happen between them. Morgana had the choice of all the knights and noblemen in the kingdom, and he was just a serving boy that she had met once in a forest. The young warlock closed his eyes as he remembered her soft lips against his own…

No. He had to stop this. He had to move on with his life and stop thinking about what might or could have been. The Lady Morgana was out of bounds, however much he did not want to accept it.


	5. The Start of an Era

**_Hello everyone! _Sorry it's taking me SOO long to update, I am just procastinating. And then there's homework and whatever. :/  
But anyway, here is the next chapter! Probably one of my longest, I haven't actually counted XD  
Anyway, enjoy, please R&R!**

**HINT: Reviews will help me update faster! :3**

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_"You cannot get involved in this. No good will come of it. I mean_ _it Merlin. Stay _out _of it!"_

Gaius' harsh words echoed around Merlin's head as he walked down the corridor, a bunch of flowers clutched in his hands. He had always suspected that there was something about Morgana, the face she saw the future in her dreams, the way she had warned him a few months ago that "This was only just the beginning", after Arthur had been bitten by the Questing Beast. He had seen the pure terror in her eyes, and knew that she had seen the future.

_Why _couldn't he tell Morgana about his secret? He knew exactly how she felt, what she was going through. She felt scared, alone, afraid of who and what she was. She needed someone to be there for her. And if Gaius wouldn't, than Merlin would.

Like Morgana had once said, sometimes you have to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences.

He strode round the corner and abruptly stopped as he caught sight of Arthur heading towards him.

"Ah, Merlin!" Merlin swiftly put the bunch of flowers behind his back. He figured that the prince would assume that there was something happening between him and Morgana if he saw them, and however much Merlin wished that that were true, it was not, and even if it was, he would not want Arthur to know about it. So, the safest thing to do would just be to hide the flowers.

"I need you–_"_ Arthur stopped and gave Merlin a strange look. Merlin tried to look as nonchalant as one could be when hiding something.

"What are you hiding behind your back?" the prince asked straight out, slowly advancing towards Merlin.

"Nothing!" the young man in question replied, slowly moving backwards. Quickly tucking the flowers into his belt, he showed Arthur his supposedly bare hands. "See?"

"What are you up to?" Arthur quickly strode closer to Merlin, who abruptly turned around, being careful to not show Arthur his back.

"Nothing, honestly!" he said, chuckling to feign innocence as they did an odd spinning dance. With a straight and serious face, he said "Arthur, I would never lie to you." With a sudden light bulb of inspiration, he added, "I _respect_ you far too much for that."

Arthur continued to look at him suspiciously. This was not working. Merlin tried another tactic. Distraction. "You… wanted me to do something?"

"My chainmail needs cleaning."

"Oh. Well, I'll see to it right away," Merlin gave him a goofy grin. Arthur raised an eyebrow, and turned to moved away. Merlin continued grinning until Arthur had begun to head down towards the corridor Merlin had come from, before he turned around, taking the flowers out of his belt and heading up the staircase towards Morgana's chambers.

He quickly thought out what he would say as he knocked on the door.

_"Morgana, I have magic." _

_"Morgana, there's something you need to know…"_

_"I know right now that you feel alone, but you're not."_

_"Having magic isn't something to be afraid of…"_

Guinevere opened the door. Merlin fumbled around, trying to keep a grip on the bunch of flowers, and looked up, his heart sinking. To talk to Morgana, he'd have to get rid of Gwen first.

It wasn't that he didn't _trust_ Gwen, he just wanted to take things one step at a time.

"How is she?" Merlin immediately asked. Gwen looked behind her, and Merlin saw that Morgana was still asleep.

"I've never seen her like this before. I'm scared to leave her on her own…" Gwen said sadly.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Gwen gave him a small smile but shook her head.

"I had better get back to her." Merlin nodded, and held out the flowers. Gwen took them. "I'll make sure she knows who they're from."

As soon as Gwen closed the door, Merlin leant against the wall, breathing out a sigh. It was going to be harder than he thought to get Morgana on her own. And every minute he wasted would leave her feeling more and more scared and unsure of herself.

* * *

"I can stay, if that will make you feel better…"

Morgana shook her head. "You have done so much already."

"I don't mind!" Morgana found herself hesitating, but shook her head.

"I'll be fine… really."

Gwen gave Morgana a smile and squeezed her hand before getting up off the bed and beginning to walk away.

"Gwen!" Morgana quickly called, "T-Take the candle." Gwen quickly picked up the small, flickering flame and took it out of the room, leaving Morgana in the moonlight.

She lay down uneasily, snuggling into the warmth of her blankets. She was not stupid; she knew it was magic. She just did not want to believe it.

Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her mind and fall asleep, but it was no use. She was too on edge, and too terrified of what would happen if she let sleep take her.

She opened her eyes again, and found herself looking at the blue vase that held her flowers. Gwen told her that Merlin had come earlier to deliver them.

Merlin... It had been nearly two years since he had arrived in Camelot, and Morgana had all but given up hope that they could ever be more than friends. And yet he was always so kind to her, helping her whenever she needed it, and more than once she had caught him looking at her, and immediately looking away, embarrassed, as soon as they had made eye contact.

_Don't get your hopes up_, she mentally scolded herself. She closed her eyes again, and remembered their kiss, so many years ago. Soon the images changed, and she imagined kissing Merlin again, now. The taste of his lips against her own as they kissed, a long, passionate kiss. She imagined running her hands through his raven black hair as he said he loved her, and she returned his feeling without hesitation.

Suddenly there was a crash of thunder, and Morgana sat up in her bed in shock. She felt a power stir up inside, so great and so warm, like a fire deep inside her. Her eyes burned and the vase of flowers blew up, the glass shattering into a million pieces.

A pure terror rose up inside Morgana. There was no mistaking it now. She had used magic. There was only one thought on her mind, one person whom she could go to. _Merlin._ She had to go and see Merlin. She could trust him; tell him about her magic. He would understand. He _had_ to understand.

She tore from her chambers and down the twisting staircase, taking the route she had taken so many times in her years in Camelot after her nightmares. To the physician's chambers, Gaius' chambers. And now to Merlin.

* * *

She burst in through the door as Merlin was blowing out the candles. Wearing her long, white nightgown and her raven black hair flowing out behind her. On her face was a look of terror.

His heart sank. He had been right; she was terrified of her powers, and who and what she was. She needed someone to be there for her and help her. "W-what's wrong?" he asked.

She opened her mouth, but seemed unsure what to say. _Please Morgana,_ he silently willed her, _tell me. _She looked away, her breathing shallow.

"You can trust me, Morgana." Merlin said carefully, taking a step towards her. "You know you can."

She closed her mouth, swallowed, and opened it again. "I… I'm scared, Merlin…"

His heart broke as he looked at her. She was always so sure of herself, and now, because of magic, she was unravelling. He stayed silent, willing for her to do on.

"I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening." A silent tear rolled down her cheek, and Merlin wished more than anything that he could enfold her in an embrace right there, reassure her that everything would be okay.

"Please…" The plea came out as a whisper. But he couldn't. He couldn't tell her. And it hurt him more than anything.

* * *

That was when she realised that he already knew. He already knew and he wasn't saying anything. Her heart sank. He didn't understand.

"Gaius will be back soon; he can help you."

Morgana tried to hold back the tears and stay composed. "He won't, I don't want any more remedies, they won't do any good!" Desperation was creeping into her voice now and she took a few steps forward. Why wouldn't he just say it? She needed someone to admit it, so tell her she wasn't going mad.

"It's magic Merlin," Her voice came out as a barely audible whisper. "You know it is."

Merlin gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"You know I wouldn't make this up…"

"Of course."

"You think it's magic too! Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it, so I don't keeping feeling like I'm imagining it…"

He gave another small nod but did not speak. The silence was deafening as the blood drummed in Morgana's ears. Finally, he spoke.

"I really wish there was something I could say."

It hit her like a slap. Rejection, betrayal, disbelief, anger. She thought he would help her, comfort her. But he was just like the others. Shaking her head in denial, she backed away, before turning to run out of the quarters. She heard him call after her, but ignored him as the tears flowed freely down her face.

* * *

"_Morgana! _Wait!" She ignored him and slammed the door. He sank into a chair, his face in his hands. He had ruined it. Ruined his chance to help her. _And to ever be in a relationship with her_, a tiny voice in his head said. He ignored it. _Why had he listened to Gaius?_

At that moment, he truly hated Camelot. Hated Uther with his laws against magic. Hated Gaius, who had stopped him telling Morgana. Hated magic, for choosing Morgana, the King's own ward. His heart ached and a single tear rolled down his face as he wished he had told her, and mourned his friendship and anything else he might have had with her.

* * *

Morgana lay, curled up in her chambers, sobbing. At that moment, she hated Camelot. Hated Uther with his laws against magic, hated magic for choosing her. Even Merlin. How could he do this to her? He _knew_ it was magic. She had seen it in his eyes. As she cried, she mourned her friendship and anything else she might have had with him. For in her heart, she knew she could never truly hate him. Never.

* * *

**Sooo... what do you guys think? Positive and negative comments are welcome, and any mistakes please do point out!**


	6. Revelations

**I know, I know, yet again I've taken forever to update, and I have no proper excuse... I'M SORRY! D:**

**The only possible excuse I can give is that I was too depressed to write after that finale. God... I can't BELIEVE they ended it like that. **

**Anyway, here it is, I hope you guys like it! ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Merlin. Believe me; if I did, that finale would have been VERY different.**

* * *

Merlin knocked on the door, his mouth dry. Morgana opened it, regarding him with a cool stare. His heart dropped; she had not forgiven him. He wished he could have comforted her last night. Why hadn't he at least confirmed to her that it _was_ magic? He should have listened to his heart, not Gaius.

"Gaius asked me to deliver this."

"I don't need any potions," she said shortly.

There was an awkward silence, and neither of them knew what to say.

"Merlin?"

He looked up hopefully.

"Ignore what I said last night. I had a nightmare–"

"I haven't said anything to anyone."

"I'm sorry; it's usually Gwen who has to deal with me when I'm like this."

"I don't mind." He wanted to be able to comfort her when she was upset, tell her everything was going to be okay and that he would be there for her, always. But he had lost that chance yesterday. At that thought, he felt a now familiar pang in his heart. A pang of regret.

He took a deep breath. "Maybe I could help?"

"I doubt that." She gave him that cool stare again, emerald green meeting sapphire blue.

_Ouch, that hurt_… "You'd be surprised," he said.

Merlin closed the door then walked over to her. "I understand. I realise how frightening this must be for you, especially for _you,_"

"Why especially for me?"

"You're the king's ward; you know his hatred of magic better than anyone."

"That's what you think has been happening to me? The dreams, the fire, you think it _was_ magic!" The accusatory tone in Morgana's voice was unbearable. The tone of betrayal and hurt that he had lied to her.

"I'm not saying that!"

"But it could be, couldn't it!"

"I really wouldn't know, but there are people who do." He took a step forward. If he couldn't help her himself, he would take her to people who could.

"Who?"

"What about the druids?" She looked at him disbelievingly, but he continued. "They help people like you."

"None of their kind would _dare_ show their face in Camelot."

He shook his head. "No. But I know where you can find them."

She looked up and met his eye, and he saw hope. The dragon was wrong; magic would not turn her evil. The druids would help her and she would learn not to fear her magic. He had faith in her.

* * *

Morgana lay on her bed, thinking over the events of the day. She needed someone to be with her and tell her everything was okay. Her whole world had been turned upside down and she didn't know what to do. She knew now that magic was nothing to be feared now, but Uther was. If he found out, he would kill her for sure. Despite all he said about caring about her, before he had put her in chains just for disagreeing with him. What would he do if he discovered she had broken one of Camelot's most important laws?

She wished she could speak to Merlin. He knew her secret and he had tried to help her by telling her where the druids were. But he seemed to be avoiding her, as if he didn't want to see her.

_Maybe he doesn't want to associate with me, now he knows of my magic… _Morgana thought miserably. She couldn't blame him; if Uther discovered that Merlin had known about Morgana's magic and sent her to the druids, he would surely be killed too. But that didn't ease the heavy feeling in her heart and the tears that rolled down her face.

Then there was a knock at her door. She looked up hopefully and wiped the tears from her face. It couldn't be him… could it?

* * *

Merlin waited outside her door, fidgeting nervously. She opened the door and he looked up. Maybe he was imagining it… did she look pleased to see him?

"Merlin."

"My lady." His heart was beating fast. This was it. He was finally going to do it.

He had been thinking about it ever since she had come back, and he had decided. He would tell her about his magic.

Damn what Gaius had said. She needed someone, and he wanted to be there for her. And he was tired of bearing his burden alone. He wanted to share it with someone. With her.

The Great Dragon could not be right. She was _not_ evil. He would never let that happen.

She opened the door wider, and let him into the room.

Suddenly he did not know what to say. How would he tell her, after he had rejected her and left her alone when she was most scared?

She was waiting for him to say something. _Think Merlin, think!_

"I wanted to check you were okay."

"I– I'm fine."

There was another silence.

"What was said at the woods–"

"You can trust me Morgana, I won't tell anyone," Merlin blurted out suddenly. _Come on, just tell her you idiot!_

"Thank you Merlin." She smiled. She was so beautiful when she smiled.

"I know now, who I am. And it is nothing to be scared of. Maybe one people will come to see magic as a source for good."

He smiled. She understood about magic. She could understand him. He said a quick, silent prayer.

"Err… there is… there's something I have to tell you."

She looked up at him.

"Morgana… I… I love you."

_No! That wasn't meant to come out!_ Merlin held his breath. He hadn't meant to say that, he hadn't!

He broke eye contact with her and turned around. "I– I'm sorry, I didn't–"

"Merlin."

He turned to face her. "I thought I'd never hear you say those words," Morgana said in a whisper.

He felt something stir inside him. Hope. Then she spoke.

"I– I love you too."

Before either of them knew what was happening, they leaned in and kissed.

Morgana wove her hands into his hair, breathing in his scent. She had never thought that he would ever reciprocate her feelings. And here they were, kissing, as if they were in that forest all those years ago.

She wanted this moment to last forever. Him kissing her softly, his hands around her waist. The whole world around them did not exist anymore; it was just him and her and it was wonderful. She felt something stirring in her heart; love. And acceptance. He wanted to be with her, despite her magic.

Merlin leaned in closer and deepened the kiss, putting his hand around Morgana's waist. It was perfect.

Too soon, they broke apart. His sapphire blue eyes were full of love. Love for _her._

"Do you know how long I've wanted to say those words to you for?" he whispered.

"I think I have an idea, if it's as long as I've waited to hear them," she replied.

"Ever since I saw you when I first came to Camelot I've hoped that maybe something could happen between us, but I never dared to hope too much. Since you are the King's ward and I am Arthur's manservant."

"Merlin," she said in a slightly exasperated tone, "I do not care about rank. You should know that by now." Then the paused, and looked at him seriously. "But... we must be careful. If Uther finds out about our feelings I fear what would happen to you. He thinks that only lords are good enough for me. Like he knows anything." She finished with a look of disgust.

Merlin nodded, and kissed her again, this time a quick, soft brush of the lips. He smiled, and felt his magic, glowing warm and happy inside him. Then he felt a stab of guilt; he hadn't told her his other secret. But he did not want to ruin the moment; he could scarcely believe that this was real.

He would tell her. Just… not right now.

"I have to go, Arthur probably wants me to clean his armour or muck out the stables or something," he said, making a face.

She laughed and nodded. Her laugh… it was so beautiful. He found himself grinning.

As soon as he was out of the room, Merlin did a little dance, still feeling as if he was in a dream.

He didn't notice the prince leaning against the pillar behind him until he heard the voice.

"This has to stop." Merlin spun around quickly, just as Arthur began to walk towards him.

"The king would have your head if he knew." Merlin's already pale face drained of colour completely; how could Arthur know about his magic?

"There's no point denying it, Merlin." The prince's voice held no emotion, so Merlin could not tell what his reaction was.

Even though he knew it was hopeless, Merlin said "Denying what?"

There was a small silence, where Merlin could only hear the beating of his own heart, which seemed to echo around the palace, bouncing off the walls and drumming back into his ears.

"Your affections for the Lady Morgana."

Merlin's mouth dropped. That was not what he was expecting. _How the hell could Arthur know about that?_?

The prince put his hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Take a bit of advice from someone who… knows, about women." Despite himself, Merlin gave a snort. _Arthur, knowing about women? _

"If such a person existed I would," he quipped.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Stick to girls who are more… how can I put it? Your level."

_Coming from the man who has affections for Gwen, who's a serving girl?_ "Thanks," he said, still grinning.

"She can't be your friend, let alone anything else." His hand still on the warlock's bony shoulder, Merlin noticed the wistful look in Arthur's eyes as he looked at the floor, and felt his smile droop slightly. It was clear that Arthur loved Gwen, a lot.

"You can't hide anything from me, Merlin," Arthur said with a small smile.

"Wouldn't dream of it sire!" Merlin said, before heading off down the corridor back to Gaius' chambers, not even the fact that Arthur knew about his feelings enough to dampen his spirits.

* * *

**Sooo... there it is! Please leave any comments or critisicm below! :D**

**~RavenclawMerlinFan**


	7. Nightmares

**Next chapter! I knowww, it's been nearly a month since I last updated, buuuuut you will be pleased (or otherwise) to know I have the next one and a half chapters already written!**

**This chapter is set somewhere after 2x03 and before 2x08! :)**

* * *

_She was lying on the cold, stone floor of the throne room. Her throat was closing up, stopping her from breathing, suffocating her. A water skin lay by her side, trickling out liquid. Liquid laced with poison. She turned with wide, terrified eyes to the man she thought had loved her. He was kneeling beside her, and tried to hold her in him arms, whispering "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," over and over again. But she struggled to get away from him, the man who had poisoned her, but it was becoming harder. Her struggles became weaker until she finally succumbed to the black, blissful oblivion that was unconsciousness…_

Morgana Pendragon woke, drawing air into her burning, oxygen-starved lungs, feeling as if she really had been poisoned. "MERLIN!" she screamed.

Merlin was walking back from the armoury after spending the evening and into the night polishing Arthur's armour and sharpening his sword. He was just passing the corridor beneath the stone staircase up to Morgana's chambers, ready to go straight through Gaius' quarters to his own bedroom and collapse onto his bed, when he heard the scream.

"MERLIN!"

He could recognise that voice anywhere. Immediately he raced up the stairs, his heart pounding and blood drumming in his ears.

Merlin burst into the room where Morgana was sobbing uncontrollably, still shouting his name.

"I'm here Morgana, I'm here," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed into his chest.

To his surprise, she suddenly stiffened and pulled away. "You… you tried to p-poison me…" she stared at him in confusion and fear.

"What?"

"You p-poisoned me!" she repeated through the sobs still wracking through her body.

"It was only a dream Morgana, I won't poison you, I promise." He pulled her close again, running his fingers through her tangled hair, confused and anxious. Why would he have tried to poison her? He knew that Morgana's dreams were not just dreams; they were visions. Visions of the future.

When her sobs subsided, she straightened up, sniffing and wiping away tears. "Merlin, I-I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't–"

"Shh, it's alright Morgana," he soothed her. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips – something which he was still getting over that he could now do – before sliding off the bed. "Lie down," he told her softly.

She lay back on her pillows, exhausted. Her mind was full of confusion, images from the nightmare still flashing through her mind. Merlin moved as if to leave but she stopped him.

"Merlin, please stay with me," she asked in a voice barely audible. She wanted him to be close to her and comfort her, to stay until she was asleep. Merlin hesitated for a moment and then nodded, and pulled up a chair next to the bed. He reached out to take her hand. Within minutes, she drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Merlin stayed, stroking her hand absent-mindedly, still mulling over her dream. Surely that was only _one_ possible future? It didn't mean he would definitely poison her?

_Maybe… maybe I poison her because the dragon is right, and she turns against Camelot…_ Merlin did not want to believe it, believe that Morgana, _his_ Morgana, his _love_, would turn away from him and Camelot.

When they were together, Morgana rarely spoke of her magic. However, it was always on Merlin's mind. Every time they kissed, he felt his magic trying to reach out and entwine with hers. He would push it back down, but the feeling of guilt still wormed its way up. She had trusted him with everything… why couldn't he trust her with his secret?

* * *

When Morgana awoke to sunlight streaming into her room, the first thing she saw was Merlin; hand over hers, asleep in a chair, his head lolling forwards. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. She lay there, watching him with a small smile on her face.

But the smile faded as she remembered her dream. It was so vivid and _real;_ she had felt the poison burning in her throat, the cold stone floor beneath her… the dream had terrified Morgana.

_But that is all it was; a dream._ That was what Morgana repeated to herself. She trusted Merlin with her life, quite literally; if he ever told Uther of her magic, she would surely be sentenced to death. Uther claimed to love her, but she was not planning on putting that love to the test by declaring she was a sorceress.

Just then she heard footsteps coming up the stone staircase towards her room. Panicking, she sat up, wildly thinking of a way to get Merlin out of sight.

"Good morning my lady, I-" Gwen opened the door and stopped short at the sight of Merlin, still asleep, holding hands with Morgana.

"I… we… it's not what it looks like?" Morgana tried. Gwen's look of confusion vanished after a few seconds and was replaced with a beaming smile.

"I knew it! I _knew_ that you and Merlin would get together eventually!"

Morgana's pale cheeks flushed crimson. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Gwen smiled.

Morgana smiled back slyly. "And if you and Arthur 'get together' as you put it, the four of us could have romantic dinners together!"

It was Gwen's turn to flush. Morgana turned back to look tenderly at Merlin. "I should probably wake him up now, shouldn't I?"

"Our crowned prince will kill him if he doesn't get his breakfast soon, so that would probably be a good idea," Gwen joked.

Just then, Merlin opened his eyes, blinked a few times and sat up. Then he jumped as he saw Morgana and Gwen staring at him, causing the chair to fall backwards and him to hit his head on the floor.

Both women burst out laughing, and Merlin flushed. Then he took in his surroundings. "Wait, I'm… Gwen!" He looked around in panic as he realised that Gwen had just found him _in Morgana's chambers_. Even though they had definitely _not_ been doing what would spring to mind when one is found in a lady's chambers, he was, still, in her chambers. "It's… not what it looks like?"

This caused Gwen to laugh again. "I already _know_, Merlin! I have had my suspicions for a while, and Arthur seemed convinced-"

_"Arthur?" _Morgana asked incredulously.

"Ah. That would be my fault…" Merlin said sheepishly.

Morgana gave him a questioning look.

"Well… after you returned from the druid camp," Merlin glanced quickly at Gwen, who still did not know Morgana's true purpose there, "He saw me leaving your room afterwards, and told me… what was it? Oh yes, 'She can't be your friend, let alone anything else'."

Morgana gave an unladylike snort of derision. "That _hypocrite_!"

Merlin turned to the window to see the sun already high in the sky. With a yelp he turned back to the two women. "Arthur is going to kill me; I am so late!" And with that, he practically sprinted to Arthur's chambers, grabbing a plate of food from a passing servant to use as the prince's breakfast.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


	8. Destiny

**Wahey! For once it hasn't taken me a month to update XD  
Just a short little chapter for you guys. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own Merlin! (in my dreams...)**

* * *

Morgana stood by the window in her chambers, gazing out into the courtyard below at the mysterious woman practising her combat moves in the moonlight. When Morgause had removed her helmet and Morgana had looked into her eyes, she had felt something. The woman seemed… familiar, somehow, although Morgana was sure they had never met before. There was something, some kind of connection, but she could not put her finger on it.

"Who is she?" Morgana jumped; she had not heard Gwen come into the room. "And why would she challenge Arthur? Seems no-one's ever heard of her."

"I… it feels as if I've met her somewhere before." Morgana confessed.

"Really? Where could you know her from?"

"I don't know," Morgana shook her head.

Gwen left, and she turned her attention back to Morgause. The woman looked up at her window, and her gaze lingered on Morgana, staring back. Those brown eyes; they seemed so familiar, yet so alien.

The door opening brought Morgana out of her thoughts, and a smile tugged at her lips as a set of familiar footsteps walked across the floor towards her, putting a hand over her eyes. A soft voice in her ear spoke. "Guess who?"

"Hello Merlin," she smiled. Her turned her around and removed his hand, producing a bunch of flowers from behind his back. It was a routine; every night he would bring her fresh flowers.

He leaned down to kiss her softly, but broke away too soon, concern in his eyes. "You seem… distracted."

Morgana gave a sigh. "It's Morgause. I feel like I know her from somewhere. There's some sort of connection and I don't know what it is. And why would she come to Camelot and want to fight Arthur? He has definitely never met her."

"He doesn't want to fight her. He asked me to send a message to her asking her to withdraw, and when I opened her door she put a sword to my throat! She's certainly skilled; she killed five guards." He paused for a moment. "But, what you said about her seeming familiar to you… it seems strange; are you sure you have not met her before?"

"I am positive." Morgana paused and looked at the young man in front of her. "Merlin… do you believe in destiny?"

Merlin drew in a breath, and seemed to consider his words for a minute. "Destinies… I do believe in them, but I also believe they can be troublesome things, and definitely not what you would expect. And as hard as you try, you just can't stay away from them," he said with a small, almost wistful smile.

Morgana regarded him with emerald-green eyes for a moment. His answer had been strange; he seemed as if he had been speaking from experience, as if he had had maybe had encounters with destiny before.

"Why do you ask?" Merlin inquired, realising that Morgana was staring at him.

"This is going to sound very odd, but I feel almost as if it was destiny that Morgause and I were to meet. I know; it sounds so strange, but it's the only way that I can explain this connection. And I think she feels it too; I've seen her looking at me."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Merlin said, entwining his fingers in her own, "But one thing I do know is that it's our destiny to be together." And with that, he captured her mouth in a kiss, and Morgana pushed Morgause out of her mind as she focused on the man front of her whom she loved with all her heart.

* * *

**Please review! The little button down there is looking lonely! :P**


	9. A Twist of Fate

**Hello everyone! Sorry it took me such a long time to update again! I had to rewrite this chapter 3 times before I was even vaguely satisfied by it, and I still don't like it :(**

**I actually cut out a chapter that was meant to be before this one, but it just wasn't working, and didn't actually add anything to the story, so I decided to cut it out.**

**By the way, in this story the events in Series 2 Episode 9, The Lady of the Lake, and Series 2 Episode 11, The Witch's Quickening, did not happen. :)**

**So, without further interruption... here it is! Set in Series 2 Episode 12, The Fires of Idirsholas. Starts when Merlin and Morgana are in the throne room, with the unconscious Uther.**

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Merlin. :'(

* * *

Merlin fought an internal battle, his head against his heart. He couldn't do it. He _couldn't_ poison Morgana. But what was the alternative? Let Morgause take Camelot and kill Arthur, along with his destiny?

But _murder _his own true love? The thought of it sent waves of revulsion through him. It wasn't _fair_. Why did he have such a complicated destiny? Was it too much to ask for a normal life?

He turned around to look at Morgana. He saw her expression, so innocent and so scared. And that was when he knew; Morgause hadn't told her she was the vessel. He trembled with anger. How could she use her own _sister_ like that?

Time seemed to go in slow motion as she lifted the water skin to her lips… he didn't have time; he had to make a decision…

He was not a murderer.

"STOP!" Morgana jumped at the sound of Merlin's voice, dropping the water skin. It fell on the floor, the water trickling out slowly.

The young man fell to the floor, trembling and sobbing. "I can't. I can't do it," he whispered, "I WON'T!" He screamed the last two words out into the room as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"M-Merlin?" Morgana was confused and worried about the young man's mental state; what was he talking about? She had never seen him lose control like this… he was always so calm, so collected. She moved over to crouch beside him, putting her slender hands on either side of his face. "Merlin, what do you mean?"

"The water…" he croaked.

She turned and looked at the liquid, trickling out on the floor. And then the overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit her.

_She was lying on the cold, stone floor of the throne room. Her throat was closing up, stopping her from breathing, suffocating her. A water skin lay by her side, trickling out liquid. Liquid laced with poison…_

She stumbled backwards on her hands and knees, trying to get as much distance as possible between her and Merlin, a look of horror in her eyes. He couldn't. He _wouldn't. _But the look in his eyes told her otherwise.

"Why?" she whispered, a tear rolling down her own cheek. He had _promised _her. He promised her he wouldn't poison her.

"It's y-you, you're the vessel of the s-spell, it's you who c-caused everyone to fall asleep," he sobbed.

"W-what?"

Merlin drew in a shaky breath. "Morgause; she used you to maintain the enchantment. I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_, sorry. The only way to break the enchantment is to destroy the source."

Morgana felt as if all the breath had been knocked out of her. "N-no. You're wrong; Morgause wouldn't do that. She _loves_ me, I'm her sister!"

Merlin shook his head sorrowfully. "I'm sorry."

The walls seemed to close in around Morgana, making her head spin. She shut her eyes. "And the only way to stop her from taking over Camelot and killing Arthur is for me to die?" she whispered.

She didn't have to open her eyes to know she was right. Her heart sunk. But she knew what he had to do. Opening her eyes, and blinking away her tears, she picked up the water skin. It still had some liquid inside.

"W-what are you doing?" Merlin asked, his eyes widening.

"You said yourself; the only way for the spell to be broken is if I die." She stood up, shaking slightly.

"No. No, Morgana, don't do this!" He suddenly understood. She was going to take the poison herself. He leapt to his feet. "You can't, please." A sense of desperation settled over him. He couldn't live without her. She _couldn't_ die.

Morgana walked towards him. "I love you, Merlin." She leant forwards and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her, breathing in her scent and revelling in the feel of their lips touching for what he knew would be the last time. Their tears mingled, giving the kiss a salty, bittersweet taste.

She broke away too soon. "Goodbye, Merlin." And with that, she lifted the water skin to her lips and drained the liquid.

Time slowed down again as she swayed, and then fell, her eyes rolling back into her head. Merlin caught her, holding her in his lap, tears flowing freely down his face. "No. NO!" He shouted his anger into the room, the words echoing off the walls and bouncing back. "_No_…"

Grief swamped him, taking over his body as he cradled her in his arms, brushing her hair off his face. _I never even got to tell her about my magic…_

The doors exploded off their hinges with a powerful force, and Morgause strode in. Upon seeing Morgana in Merlin's arms, her rushed over, her eyes wide with fear and fury.

She grabbed her sister from Merlin, pulling her away. "What has he done to you…?" she whispered.

His grief was momentarily pushed aside as he heard those words. "What have _I_ done to her? You made her the vessel for your spell, you _used _her!"

Morgause looked up at Merlin, her brown eyes full of tears. "I only did what was necessary to remove Camelot of its tyrannical king and bring magic back to the realm!"

She looked down at Morgana. "You poisoned her!"

Merlin shook his head, a strange sense of jubilation bubbling inside him. "No. I did not. When she found out that she was the cause of the spell, she took the poison herself. It is _you_ who killed her."

Morgause shook her head. "Tell me what the poison was and I can still save her!"

Merlin stopped. She could still be saved? He took a deep breath. "First, stop the attack."

_Please, please, break the enchantment, _he prayed, _please save her_.

"You do not tell me what to do! Tell me the poison, or you _die_."

_Dying doesn't sound like such a bad option…_ Merlin thought dully. "But if I die," he said out loud, "She dies with me."

Morgause looked down at Morgana again, stroking her cheek. A tear fell down onto Morgana's dress.

"I don't want this any more than you do," Merlin whispered. "Stop the knights, and you can save her."

He could feel the effects of the enchantment taking hold of him. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep, so, so much.

Morgause looked up, her eyes full of unshed tears.

_"Astýre ús þanonweard! Cnihtas Medhires, éower sáwla. Rid eft ond forsliehð eft!"_

Morgause looked at Merlin, a pleading look in her eyes. Merlin drew the bottle of poison from his pocket, and shakily held it out to Morgause.

"Please," he whispered, "Save her."

She gave him an almost imperceptible nod.

_"Bedyrne ús! Astýre ús þanonweard!" _she shouted.

And they were gone.

* * *

**Please leave any comments and criticism below! :)**


	10. A Seed of Hope

**Hi guys! I know, it's taken me ages to update... again... but it's Easter holidays from next week where I am, and hopefully I'll be able to write then! :)**

So, without further ado, the next chapter! I'm not really sure where this came from, since it was never in my original plan, but I felt that the story needed a little bit of Merlin/Arthur bromance. :)

* * *

Merlin stopped eating. Stopped drinking. Stopped sleeping. After the initial grief had subsided, all he was left with was a terrible, aching numbness. And a question. A question that haunted him day and night. _Had Morgause saved her? _

It plagued him all day, every day. There was no way that he could even know if Morgana was _alive_, let alone if he would ever see her again.

Merlin wished he had told her about his feelings sooner; they had had such a brief time together as lovers. And he had not even told her about his magic…

He must stay positive. Not give up hope. But with each day without her it became harder and harder to pull himself out of the abyss of despair he was slowly falling into. He was no longer the cheerful, goofy, clumsy boy everyone knew, but a quiet, withdrawn young man, hardly speaking at all.

Of course, someone noticed his change in character. And that someone happened to be Arthur.

* * *

Merlin was in the prince's chambers, silently changing the bedclothes, laying out the sheets and fluffing up his pillows. Arthur was watching him from his desk. Merlin could feel the prince's eyes on him, but couldn't muster up the strength to ask him what he was staring at. The young warlock felt that a lot now; he couldn't be bothered to do anything, to speak to anyone. He just went through the motions of his chores, and then took up residence in a quiet alcove at night, staring out of a nearby window at the moon.

Merlin finished the bed, and went to stoke the fire. Arthur was still staring at him. With a sigh, Merlin turned around. "What?" he asked tiredly.

Arthur seemed to struggle with his words for a moment. "Merlin. I've noticed that you've been acting… different… lately."

_Very observant Arthur, _Merlin thought sarcastically.

"And I know why; I know how hard it is for you, losing Morgana." Merlin shut his eyes, and suddenly felt unsteady, Arthur's chambers swaying alarmingly. A wave of nausea passes through him. He still couldn't cope with hearing her name, still couldn't cope with the fact that she was gone. Lost.

Just when he thought he would collapse from the dizziness, or maybe throw up, Arthur was there, one hand on Merlin's shoulder to keep him steady, the other guiding him towards the bed, making him sit down. The crown prince sat awkwardly next to him, staring down at his own hands.

"I… I miss her too, you know." Arthur said quietly. "She was like a sister to me; she still _is_. Because she's _not _gone, she is still alive out there somewhere."

Merlin said nothing. Arthur took this as a cue to continue. "And I know, a while back, that I told you that you could never have a relationship with Morgana, because she was a lady and you just a servant. But, I was wrong."

Merlin looked up, surprised. What was Arthur saying? The prince continued. "You have made me see that, Merlin. Made me see that you should not judge people by rank, but by character. You should fall in love with someone because of who they are, not which family they were born into. I discovered that for myself, with Guinevere. And you are more than worthy of Morgana's love. These past few months, she seemed so much happier, and I know that was because of you."

A single, silent tear rolled down Merlin's cheek, and Arthur's voice because more confident, louder. "And we owe it to Morgana to not give up on her. We must keep on trying, and stay strong. If she were here now, she wouldn't want you to be like this, Merlin. She would want you to stay positive. I haven't seen that ridiculous goofy grin of yours since Morgause took her, and as much as it pains me to admit it, I am actually missing it." Arthur finished with a small smile.

The young warlock hadn't known before that moment that Arthur's emotional range exceeded that of a teaspoon, but in that moment Merlin saw someone new inside of Arthur. Not the prattish prince of Camelot, but someone else. Some kinder, more caring, wiser. The man who Merlin believed truly would unite the land of Albion one day.

Merlin knew that Arthur was right. He couldn't spend every day in this pit of despair. He owed it to Morgana to try and find her. Like Arthur said, he must stay strong and not give up.

Sniffing, he stood up, still trembling slightly. "I didn't know you were capable of emotional speeches, prat," he joked with a watery smile.

Arthur stood up and cuffed Merlin on the shoulder, offering him a smile of his own.

* * *

Uther ordered search parties to be sent out to look for Morgana every day. Merlin knew that there was no way Morgause would be anywhere near Camelot, and that the parties would not be able to find them; the sorceress could use magic to make her and Morgana all but invisible. But even so, Merlin went along with every single one. Because Arthur's words had planted a tiny seed in his heart. A seed that grew and bloomed in his chest, a seed of _hope_ that would become a flower. Because they _would_ find Morgana. It was their destiny.

* * *

**Who noticed the subtle reference to Harry Potter? :P  
Please review, reviews help me update faster! :D**


	11. Lost

**Next chapter! :D  
I'll upload the chapter after this one next Sunday, it's a very short chapter, but I decided to make it a chapter of its own instead of joining it on to this one; it seemed to end more naturally.**  
**I'm going to try to do weekly updates from now on, so the wait between chapters shouldn't be too long any more! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Merlin. *glares at whoever does***

* * *

It had been a year. One, long year. But to Merlin, it seemed like decades. Still there had been no sign of Morgana, or even just Morgause. The search parties continued, Merlin and Arthur riding side by side at the front, always.

This particular search started the same as all the others. They spent all day riding through seemingly endless forests, looking for any clues or signs of Morgana or Morgause. The air was misty and chilled, and Merlin did not have much protection against the elements in his thin shirt and jacket. And his rear end was sore from riding all day. But that didn't matter; finding Morgana was all that mattered.

Merlin had tried as hard as he could to stay positive, and always kept Arthur's words in mind. He tried to move on, but never forget, and never give up hope of finding her. But where could she be? Where would Morgause have taken her? Would Morgana have run if – _when – _Morgause healed her, or would she have stayed? And what would Morgause have done to her if she had?

Merlin feared for her. Whatever Morgana had said about Morgause loving her, Merlin did not trust the sorceress. If Morgana was still with her, she would try and turn her against Camelot, against Arthur… against Merlin.

But what if they found her… and she didn't want to come back? Morgause would offer Morgana something that she couldn't have in Camelot; freedom to use her magic. Morgause would then try and use Morgana's powers to take over Camelot, and Albion would never happen. Merlin's destiny would die right along with the Morgana that he loved, the Morgana that cared about Arthur and about Camelot. The Morgana that had once come with Merlin all the way to Ealdor to save his village from bullies.

_No. _ Why was he thinking like this? Morgana might have escaped, left Morgause, and been in hiding. She might have found another druid clan to protect her and teach her to control her magic, and use it for good, not for evil.

One thing was for sure; if – _when_, goddammit – they found her, he was going to tell her about his magic, regardless of the consequences.

Merlin came out of his thoughts as he shifted uncomfortably in his saddle, sore from the endless sitting on a horse.

"Is there something wrong with you?" Arthur said, smirking.

"I've been on a horse all day," Merlin said in reply.

"Aw, is your little bottom sore?" Arthur's smile grew bigger.

"Yes, it is." Merlin replied irritably. Sometimes it was very hard to believe that this was the man who would be the Once and Future King of Camelot. "It's not as fat as yours."

Arthur gave a snort. "You have a lot of nerve… for a wimp."

"I may be a wimp, but at least I'm not a dollop-head," Merlin countered.

"There's no such word."

"It's idiomatic."

"It's _what?_"

"It means you need to be more in touch with the people." At least bantering with Arthur took his mind off his sore bottom.

Arthur gave a disbelieving huff. "Describe 'dollop-head'."

"In two words?" Merlin asked, a small smile growing on his face.

"Yeah."

"Prince Arthur!" Merlin smirked. He had expected Arthur to retort with an insult of his own, but instead the prince held up his hand, signalling for the group to stop. Merlin stared at him, confused. What was he doing?

Then he saw the camp up ahead. Arthur quickly dismounted his horse, drawing his sword. Merlin wriggled off his own horse after him, stretching his legs as blood flowed back into them.

He quickly caught up with Arthur as the prince signalled for his men to go in different directions and surround the camp. Merlin's heart thudded in his chest.

Suddenly an arrow whistled through the air, breaking the silence. A knight slumped over, dead.

Then with a yell, the bandits came through the mist out of nowhere. Arthur immediately began battling three of the bandits, and the knights each took their own to fight.

Seeing a sword lent against a pile of wood, Merlin went over and grabbed it. It was surprisingly heavy. As soon as he'd picked it up though, a bandit came up and swung his own sword heavily at Merlin, causing the young man to drop the sword.

The bandit backed Merlin up against a tree. He swung his sword up high. _Think, Merlin!_

Catching sight of the pots and pans strewn around the camp, Merlin quickly whispered "_Ecg geteoh þing to!_"

As expected, the pots and pans, along with quite a few of the knight's helmets, flew through the air and attached themselves to the bandit's sword, which was still up in the air. Unbalanced by the sudden weight, the bandit fell over backwards.

With a small smile of satisfaction, Merlin darted away. Spotting Arthur, he began to dart towards him – the prat had no idea how often Merlin had to intervene to stop him being killed in fights – when a bandit wielding a heavy axe charged at in out of nowhere, weapon swinging wildly.

Merlin managed to dodge being sliced in half, but fell over backwards. Scrambling away from the bandit, the young warlock seized a tree branch, ready to defend himself, but the man swung the axe again, breaking it in half.

Managing to get to his feet, Merlin backed up and left a tree behind him. An idea formulating in his head, he dived to the left just as the crazed bandit swung the axe for a third time, causing the weapon to embed itself in the tree.

With a flash of golden eyes, the axe went in deeper and the tree slowly began to fall towards the bandit. Merlin quickly scrambled backwards to avoid being crushed, but the bandit wasn't so lucky.

The young warlock winced. Wasting no time, Merlin managed to locate Arthur again. He ran towards the prince, but tripped and ended up on the floor. Winded for a moment, the young man watched Arthur battle. His heart gave a jolt as he saw in what seemed like slow motion another bandit come up behind Arthur, ready to slice him through with his sword.

Heart pounding with fear, Merlin caught sight of the spear lying on the ground. Using his instinctive magic he used his eyes to throw the spear, which caught the bandit right in the middle of the chest, killing him.

Merlin let out the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Arthur, having dispatched of his own opponent, turned around as he saw the bandit fall, the spear through his chest. He looked bewilderedly around, trying to work out who threw it.

Merlin rolled his eyes. Then Arthur caught sight of him, lying on the ground. It was the prince's turn to roll his eyes. "We're not playing hide and seek, _Mer_lin."

Merlin gave him a look of disbelief. "Dollop-head." He muttered, scrambling to his feet.

The knights had finally eradicated all of the bandits, and stood in the quiet of the forest, waiting for directions from their prince.

The prat in question looked around at all the dead men on the floor, before suddenly looking up.

Merlin had been Arthur's manservant long enough to know what his expression meant; the prince had heard something.

Merlin followed his gaze, heart beating fast, and saw a dark shadow coming through the mist. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Arthur draw his sword. The young prince signalled for the knights to stay back as the figure got closer. Merlin saw it was limping. The outline became clearer; he could see long hair, what looked like a dress... it was a woman.

The mist was still obscuring her face. She continued to stumble towards them. Merlin could hear her breathing; shallow, frightened.

And then the mist cleared, and he saw her face. His heart stopped altogether. It was Morgana.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


	12. Found

**Here it is, the next (extremely short) chapter! The chapter seemed to end more naturally here than if I had added the next part to it.  
I have been such a terrible writer and have not worked on the next chapter at all this week, but I will try and stop procrastinating and actually get it done by next week!  
****  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Merlin. **

* * *

Merlin didn't care that her clothes were torn, her hair matted and full of dirt. He didn't care that we was in the presence of not only Arthur but most of the knights of Camelot. It was her. He'd found her.

He ran to Morgana, catching her just as her knees buckled before she could fall to the ground.

He gently lowered her to the floor and sat, cradling her in his arms. He couldn't believe it. After a year, she was here. She'd come back to him.

"Hey," he said softly. Her green eyes focused on him. Those beautiful, emerald green eyes. He didn't realise he was crying until a tear rolled down his cheek. "I… I thought I'd never see you again," he managed to choke out.

She brought a hand up to his face to brush the tear away. "I love you, Merlin." Then her eyes fluttered closed. Merlin checked her pulse; it was weak, but steady. He pressed his lips to hers, revelling in the feeling. He had waited a whole year for that. In his mind, she'd been conscious at the time, but he supposed it didn't really matter now. She was _home_.

"We need to get her back to Camelot, fast." He said this to no-one in particular.

"Since when did you give the orders, _Mer_lin," Arthur said from behind him. Merlin could hear the joy and relief in his voice that they'd found Morgana though.

Merlin tried to stand up while holding Morgana, but struggled to pick her up. He heard Arthur huff in exasperation. "You really are useless, I'll take her."

Reluctant to let go of her when he'd only just found her, but admitting that he wasn't as strong as Arthur, Merlin allowed the prince to pick Morgana up.

"Here, get on your horse and she can ride with you," Arthur gave Merlin a brief smile. Merlin returned it. He noticed the knights giving each other looks, no doubt appalled that a manservant was having a relationship with a Lady, and that the prince himself was allowing it. But to be honest, at that moment, Merlin didn't care.

* * *

Looking forward at Merlin's horse, where the young man was seated, Morgana in front of him leaning back into his chest, Arthur turned to his knights.

"If _any_ of you mention even a _word_ of Morgana's relationship with my manservant to the King, I will have your knighthood permanently revoked. Is that understood?"

Everyone nodded.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


	13. Twisted

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.  
**

* * *

Merlin walked into the King's chambers, rolling the sleeping draught between his hands. He placed it on the bedside table before turning to look at the king. The man was moving restlessly, muttering and whimpering incoherent words.

Merlin mulled over the strange happenings of the past few days. Uther losing his mind, that guard being killed just as he was recovering from his injuries – and of course, him being stabbed in the first place, and then there was the fact that Morgana was acting so distant. Gaius put it down to the trauma of her being imprisoned for nearly a year, but Merlin was not so sure. He had barely seen her since she had returned, she was always somewhere else; with Arthur, with Gwen, with Uther… that was another thing; the young woman was spending an inordinate amount of time with the king, whom she had always claimed to hate.

There was something… something _different_ about her, but he just could not quite put his finger on it. And it worried him. He knew that there was probably a perfectly reasonable explanation, and that he should not doubt her like this, but for some reason he could not help it.

The young warlock tucked the covers around the king. Then he caught sight of something on the floor; a black, inky mess. Frowning slightly, Merlin crouched down and touched the tar-like substance. It was thick and viscous and stained his hands.

Just then, he heard footsteps. And it sounded like they were getting closer. Without thinking he dived under the bed, folding his gangly limbs in after him. Then his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when something slapped against his face. Scrambling backwards away from it, Merlin saw that it was some kind of plant or root, coated in the black substance. Just then, the footsteps entered the room. Merlin could see the bottom of a violet gown before the figure crouched down. Merlin held his breath as a hand groped under the bed and pulled the strange plant out.

The hand… it was pale with slender fingers, and there was a bracelet on the wrist. Merlin knew that bracelet; it was Morgana's healing bracelet. What was Morgana doing?

Scrambling onto his front, Merlin looked out from under the bed to see Morgana walking away, the root in her hand. What was going on?

Silently he slipped out from under the bed and began to follow her. It felt so wrong, sneaking around after the woman he loved, following her. But there was something going on, and Merlin didn't like it.

Morgana walked through the castle, her footsteps echoing off the walls. Merlin continued to follow her until she was out of the castle completely and walking through the lower town. Where was she going?

Just then, she looked back. Quick as lightning Merlin ducked behind some boxes, hoping and praying she had not seen him. He did not dare to breathe until he heard her muffled footsteps again. Carefully peering round the boxes, he continued. Where could Morgana be going at this time of night… and why?

She was in the woods now, and Merlin tried to keep quiet, although several times he stepped on dried twigs or rustling leaves, and she looked back, but never seemed to see him. He did not like this. He did not like this at all.

Then Morgana stopped in a small, moonlight clearing, looking around as if she were waiting for someone. Just then, he heard hooves, and three horses came into sight. Sitting astride the leading horse, was someone Merlin hoped to never see again. Morgause.

For a moment Merlin just stared blankly at Morgause striding towards Morgana, trying to comprehend the situation.

"Sorry you had to wait," The blonde woman spoke, "There was much to discuss."

"But your visit was successful?"

"Cenred's army marches for Camelot on my command."

"There's nothing you cannot do." Merlin could hear the admiration in Morgana's voice.

"It is you that gives me strength, sister. How goes the battle for Uther's mind?"

"When Cenred marches on Camelot, he will find a kingdom without a leader." Merlin could not bear to listen any more. Morgana's voice was cold, confident, ruthless. This was not Morgana. This was not _his_ Morgana. Morgause had turned her into something else, something twisted, something evil.

Merlin felt like his heart had shattered into a thousand pieces. When he had seen Morgana stumbling through the misty forest towards them, he thought that they had found her. But it turned out that she was more lost than ever.

* * *

Morgana knew Merlin had followed her. She wasn't stupid. She knew he was sitting behind the large rock in the background, no doubt shocked at her betrayal. Or maybe he had already known; Merlin had always known her so well, better than anyone else. But somehow, she didn't think that he had seen this one coming.

A small smirk worked its way onto her lips as she thought of Merlin and his poor, broken heart. He was almost as naïve as she was before Morgause had taken her away from Camelot and opened her eyes to the possibilities of magic, and the chance of ending the tyrannical rule of Uther Pendragon, to allow magic to be practised freely throughout the realm.

She remembered that fateful day, over a year ago now. How foolish she had been, taking that poison to save all her _friends_ in Camelot. They were not _really_ her friends; Morgause had explained that. If they knew that she had magic they would not hesitate to tell the King. And however much Uther claimed to love her, his hatred of magic came first. Always.

But then… there was Merlin. He knew she had magic, and yet he had never told another person. He had still loved her despite that. But he was too loyal to Arthur and Camelot. Morgause explained that to her too. He was a danger to them; he could not be trusted. He would run to Arthur like a dog to its master if he heard of Morgana and Morgause's plans to eradicate Uther.

Morgana had been avoiding Merlin since she got back to Camelot. She could pretend to Uther to be the loving ward. She could pretend to Arthur to be the sister-figure. She could pretend to Gwen to be the loyal friend. But for some reason she could not pretend to Merlin.

She knew why, deep down. Morgana was scared. Scared that spending time with him would make any residual feelings she held for him resurface, and that was dangerous. Loving him again would make her weak, vulnerable.

And that is why he had to be stopped.

She opened her mouth to tell Morgause that Merlin suspected her, that he was here, right now.

But the words would not come out.

She couldn't… she couldn't do it. Because however hard she tried to deny it, there was a part of her, however small, that still did love him. And she did not think that would ever change.

* * *

**Please review, contructive criticism is great as I would love to know how to improve my writing. :)**


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